Sitting in Tension and Life's Uncertainty


“Is my course corrected? I don’t fucking know.

I’m gonna find out on my own.” - Iron Chic

A litmus test for masculinity is one’s ability to sit in tension. Whether it’s being in an unfamiliar situation (social or otherwise), tension with a girl (plate or LTR acting up, potential lay giving you shit tests, trouble gaming) or being uncertain where life is going to take you: one has to sit with those feelings of anxiety, unease, uncertainty, and tension.

Whether more masculine men feel those things less is unclear, it seems they certainly concern themselves with the smaller stuff less. But at some point anyone feels themselves in a tense or anxiety provoking situation.

For someone like me who leans on the neurotic side, this is killer. Whether its uncertainty where exactly my life is headed, or hiccups and road bumps in my Red Pill journey, I can definitely feel anxious, tense, and uneasy. This can happen over things that are small, especially when they feel like they’re piling up.

No matter the cause of the angst, it is important to not avoid it. Take a deep breathe and embrace it. The actions of a man are calm and calculated. Women and children make sudden and frantic decisions. So when in you feel uneasy and uncertain about what to do, Do Nothing.

Don’t send a text, don’t attempt to smooth it over, don’t book a trip, don’t jerk off, don’t go get drunk, don’t go out for girls, don’t tell her off, don’t hard next, don’t commit to a job or a life change.

Just do nothing but sit with it. Think for a few seconds. Write about it in a journal. Acknowledge it and digest it. Talk to your close and trustworthy guy friends about it. Workout. Be okay feeling uncomfortable.

Life is chaotic and unclear. Everything acts in on its own schedule. Life acts without your permission and whether something is for the best or for the worst only reveals itself in time. Most of the worst things to ever happen in my life at the time have had lasting positive consequences to this day and will in times to come.

We often don’t know what is actually best for us. If things were different, it’s unclear things would be better for us in the long run. If you were a natural, you probably would have never discovered this community, and that would have definitely made a significant difference on my life. Seemingly, we live in a deterministic universe so it’s unclear things could have been different at all.

An example from my own life is I had a girlfriend at 13 years old and was able to lose my virginity young, but it lead me down the road of pretty blue pill and beta as I became too attached to a girl too young. I always thought this experience set my behind everyone else as they were figuring out girls and dating and I was stuck with the same old girlfriend. Now I realize my beta conditioning ran way deeper than merely dating young. It was good for me to have an early sexual experience or I really would have felt left behind. Either way, every beta fuck up in my life lead me to TRP, which as radically changed the direction of my life for the better.

Another is that I got the flu and then the mumps back to back and got extremely sick and weak. This lead me to going on TRT and feeling the best I ever have in my life. My personal examples seem countless.

It reminds me of the proverb of the farmer. Upon his perceived fortune or misfortune, he merely replies “we’ll see.”

TL;DR If your life or relationships are in a tense spot, learn to sit in the tension and not feel the need to change anything immediately. This is a true act of masculinity. In a broader sense, whether any experience or event is overall negative or positive is generally unclear in the moment, so wait it out before making a definitive judgement.