Making Mistakes: What is Lost and What is Gained
Every once in a while a girl might hop on your biscuit that seems particularly hot and not like a hoe (or only a hoe for you). Maybe you think she’s better than other girls because things go so well initially. She’s sweet and submissive and crazy about you. Low N-count and all of the other things you can later use to put her on a pedestal. You slack off on reading red pill, maybe let your blog fall apart a little. It seems like the normal flow of events, your interests going from one thing to another. When that relationship is in crisis because you haven’t maintained yourself, you have the emotionally variability of a teenager, and you are desperately trying to use red pill knowledge to accomplish the blue pill dream of holding onto one girl.
Here’s the reality: Girls would rather the guy that says horrendous things to them about how they’re only a step above a sausage packaging plant than a guy who runs over to cheer up their bad mood. Girls like asshole guys. If not actually assholes, guys with that asshole confidence. If not that, strong masculine frame and direction. They don’t want to be needed. They’ll initially love when you’re unexpectedly nice to them, because they had you pegged as an ‘alpha’, but this will quickly fade as they feel like they recognize your true colors. What’s unattractive to them is when a guy needs them. When they get a hint of this they’re as good as done with that genuine attraction. As Pook says girls want a good catch. If you’re a good catch, they’ll be afraid to lose you. And being a good catch means that they feel lucky they’re actually the girl that gets your time and attention. What does it say when you don’t value your own time and attention? They need to put in the effort and they can’t act up or they’ll be replaced.
This energy is crucial, no matter how a girl looks or acts, you will smoother the fire of the relationship with fear of losing her. Attachment will make you fail more shit tests than your most beta day. You'll let her run wild.
You always need to believe and act like you are the prize, no matter what. The prize doesn’t go running around to talk to her or text her. He doesn’t change his schedule to make plans or deal with her when she’s being moody. He isn’t afraid she’ll cheat on him or one day pack up and decide she’d had enough. But telling yourself you are the prize is not enough. I’ll repeat it 100 times in my head and then act like a complete beta. You have to mentally remind and ingrain in yourself you’re the prize. Remember when she wanting to fuck your brains out on the first date? That’s because she thought you were higher value than her. Remember when all those other girls were into you? That’s because you have options, she won’t be the last girl that felt that way.
Relearning these things is huge for me. Every time I slip or back step, I remind myself of what is lost and what is gained. What is lost is my initial frame and progress, I go from acting like the fucking man to a complete beta dependent on what she thinks. I lose a little bit of that mindset and confidence in myself. What is gained is that every time you are forced to relearn this knowledge you come back stronger and more aware, where this knowledge and information becomes so deeply ingrained it runs through you effortlessly.
Just like some things that were shaky or an act in the beginning (for me it was teasing and being disagreeable) are now ingrained in your being, the same way these things will become too just part of your knowledge and personality.
Women live in the moment, and you should too.
Every emotion a woman experiences is ‘right now’, they don’t care about your great date Sunday or your beta tantrum on Wednesday. They’ll rationalize all of this into an easy to digest paradigm that fits with how they feel right now.
In the same way, everyday is a new day to be different, accept the things you’ve done before, not hold onto the past and go back to realizing you’re the fucking man and it’s not even in the realm of possibilities that some chick is higher value than you are (how could they be? What do they know about striving, accomplishment, self discipline, and all the work we put into ourselves?).
Everyday you can wake up and forget all the shit you’ve done before and decide how you want to act today. You decide what your mindset is going to be right now. There’s nothing to prove, there’s no pride to hold onto, there’s no use in getting upset with yourself, and there's no reason to hold onto your past mistakes. You messed up, so what? They’re girls and they’re replaceable. Things will only start to flow when you’ve let go of all of this baggage: the attachment, the neediness, the needing to do or say the perfect thing, and the idea that if you mess up you aren’t a real ‘alpha male’.
The past is dead and gone. It's time to stop apologizing for how you acted and move on to the present where life is happening.
Things are always a work in progress and rarely come to completion. Every time you encounter circumstances your situation is different. If you learn a bunch of stuff on how to handle girls but don’t have a single girl in your rotation, you may have to relearn it. And that’s understandable. Just by being a member of this community you have set yourself so far ahead of 99% of the male population. They don’t know what they don’t know and don’t have the resources to get themselves out of oneitis holes and traps.
We have the tools, but nothing happens overnight. How many years did you have a beta mindset? It will take time, effort, and experience to change these things. So be in the moment, enjoy putting in the work, and let go out of the outcome.