Took The Red Pill Twice
In part of my on going process to better myself I stumbled upon what felt like oneitis again.
(Oneitis (n) - the mental disorder that commonly effects blue pill guys of only being into one girl and possibly thinking they are one of the following: perfect matches, compatible, soul mates, on the same wave length, etc OR thinking that she is: the perfect girl, quality, not like other women, better than other girls, etc.).
Blue pill oneitis: This fantasy is when blue pill guys become obsessed with one girl instead of playing the field, making girls prove themselves, dating (or talking to) multiple women, having options, etc. They put so much effort into this girl that they turn them off and consequently make sure they don’t get them. They also have all the wrong ideas of what attracts a woman and they turn her off in all different ways. They then have their heart broken and either try to prove themselves or find a different oneitis (or escape the trap and become red pill). Usually it’s a vicious cycle. Some people never get over their oneitis.
Red pill deja vu oneitis (a glitch in the matrix): You might find yourself with oneitis all over again, even after all the stuff you have learned. You might be pissed. Although it is similar to your old blue pill ways, for a red pill guy, oneitis is a little different. They know there are things that apply to all women (like hypergamy), you just think this girl is someway better or elevated. You also have experience, success, and tactics that you never had before. Your prospective is completely different. But, there are two problems these guys can face in their oneitis.
In their new found success with women, they manage to attract a woman way hotter than any women they’ve ever been with before, like what happened with me.
They attract someone that claims to “see through their shell” and they think they’ve truly found the one, like what I think happened with Roosh.
The common thread is they think this woman is in some way different. They stop thinking about other girls and just about their oneitis. They have the tools to attract women, but with her it isn’t delivered with the same authenticity. They get frustrated for falling back into some bad habits. Maybe they were in a tough emotional or physical part of their lives where they couldn’t maintain their mind set.
They become half attractive and half not, and even if they get the girl they end up pushing her away like a blue pill man would. If they get her, they may think that they can finally be themselves and drop all the red pill bullshit.
Another common thing is that they project all of the things onto them that red pill told them they would attain, and use her as a way to prove their red pill-ness or manhood. Red pill told them they’d get hotter, more feminine, submissive, interesting, etc women and they’d be able to keep them easier. They project all of these values onto this girl at once making her the holy grail.
Problems: The thing is AWALT (all women are like that). Even your red pill oneitis. She isn’t a goddess or possibly anything special. You have guaranteed that by elevating her status so high, you will not get her. And it serves you right. Weren’t you supposed to make yourself the prize? Think of yourself? Obtain abundance and strive towards a mission? These are the things you have lost. Being a guy, we want a right of passage or a way to prove ourselves. But you won’t get it. You have built her up so much in your head that it is unattainable for a human being, and we know this is not something women want. They want a man higher value than them, or at least the same (see my last post on hypergamy). You project all the wrong energy, and are so worried about failing. It is one of the worst traps.
You have to make a judgment to assert you are a high value man no matter what, with the justification that you are constantly bettering yourself and striving for greatness. One girl should not become your mission.
You must ingrate the concepts of red pill into your authentic being so that they aren’t a mask you put on to get girls. This way, if you get a girl you won’t drop all the things you knew.
You must relearn the things you have lost and become red pilled again in a more integrated way. If you play the red pill game, level one is no girls, and after you learn the game, it’s easy mode. As the levels go on, things become more complicated and difficult, and this is where you pull the things you new out of yourself to stay on track. This is how you truly get the girls you want. They will want you because you are who you claim to be. But this is not the reason you should do it. You should do it to better yourself and be more in touch with the truth. To be independent and not beholden to anyone. To live the life you wanted from the start of it.
Things to remember:
This is a learning process.
No one is perfect the first time. Keep adjusting and checking in and give yourself slack to fail.
First you become high value because of what you do, then you become high value because of what you are.
You have to build yourself up first. Learn some things. Lift weights, dress better, clean up and try some things out to truly become attractive. After this, you become attractive for your mentality. Because you know your worth and know that you won’t take any shit. This is when you can start breaking the rules and doing things your own way because you are now actually your own man. As my dad says, quoting Conor McGregor, “The double champ does what the fuck he wants.” Remember this attitude in everyday life.
I am both a rock and unmovable mountain, but I am also a human being.
I try my best to be strong willed and strong minded, where shit tests (shit test - where a woman ‘gives you shit’ to test or qualify your confidence and manhood) don’t phase me and I am able to be the strength that grounds the uncertain feminine energy that I encounter. That being said, I am a human that makes mistakes and is imperfect. I own my mistakes because I know they are part of me, and I will continue to find my way instead of following the perfect path.
Failure or success, you are still on the right track.
You did not fail, lose your manhood, lose everything you know, or become blue pill again. You are a new person and there is no going back to your old life. You are a completely different person than you were. Like I said, you will make mistakes, embrace them. Every step brings you closer to where you want to be. There is no going backwards.
If you deny your feelings, to try and “be a man” or “be alpha” you are going to set yourself further back.
Your emotions aren’t as variable as they once were, your testosterone is too high. So, see what they are trying to tell you. They may be leading you back on track no matter how shitty you feel. You need to just experience whatever it is until you finally figure on how to move on to your next step.